Sunday, May 19, 2013

A year later

It is hard to believe that last Friday marked a year since Addie arrived home. May 6th we celebrated her "Gotcha Day". We have made many great memories as a family. We have also faced many hard days. Addie has come so far this past year. When we got home she was sitting up, but that was it. She quickly learned to roll and scoot around. She soon began to crawl and then she began to pull up on the furniture. In January she took her first steps. Then on Easter weekend something must have clicked because she began walking all over. She is getting better all the time. She is talking extremely well, and she talks all of the time.

She has progressed extremely well, but she has seen her share of adversity. Last summer and fall seemed to be one doctors appointment after another. We are still making the visits, but they have slowed down tremendously. In November she had surgery to repair her tethered spine. That had her on her back for about 2 weeks, but she has made a great recovery and continues to progress. She is still dealing with a few medical issues, but overall she is doing great.

During the past few days and weeks we've had many conversations about what things were like or what we were doing at this time last year. I remember as we were at the airport and waiting to board our first flight. We were so excited about finally going to bring our little girl home. Lyndsay and Landon were excited to see their baby sister. Even in the excitement for me there was also some fear and nervousness. In some ways it was similar to when we were on our way to the hospital for Lyndsay and Landon. There was excitement of seeing our baby and looking forward to the days ahead, but there was fear because I knew nothing about raising kids. Before Lyndsay, I had never changed a diaper. Each time I felt there was so much I didn't know and that in so many ways I was unprepared. 

So in some ways it was similar, but it was very different. We were traveling half way around the world to a place I had never been. It was also different because before it was my own flesh and blood, but not this time. I was so excited to finally hold my little girl. To see her for the first time and tell her I love you. I had no doubt that I loved her and that she was my daughter, but, What if? What if she doesn't like me, what if we never connect, what if she won't let me hold her? What if? What if? And the list goes on and on. I knew that I loved her regardless of whatever would take place, but I was scared of all the things that might go wrong. As we travelled that day, Psalm 139 came to mind. Verse 13 says, "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb." And I began to think of how before Addie was ever born God was knitting her together in the womb. Verse 14-16 says ,  " I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15. My frame was hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." So even before Addie was formed God knew what her future entailed. In fact before I was formed God had numbered my days and knew that Addie was a part of them. I was reminded that while she was not created in Ann's womb, God had created her for us. Just as He had created us for her. On the one hand this is mind blowing to try to comprehend, but on the other what great joy there is in knowing that God made her to be our daughter. Just as he created Lyndsay and Landon to be our children, he had also created Addie to be our child. 
After seeing God work out so many details to bring us to this point why would I worry. I'm not sure, but I could feel relieved knowing that God was faithful to finish what he started. Does that mean that everything is perfect and we never have problems? Far from it. We are just broken messed up people. I'm still trying to figure out being a good father. But we can rest in the fact that God has numbered our days and knows what the future holds. There is a peace knowing that He is working for our good and for His glory. 

Meeting Addie

Addie was not very sure about us.

A few minutes later and she was fast asleep in the arms of her mommy.

I love this picture of them!

Can you see the resemblance? I think we look a lot alike.


She loved the bath.

Landon was excited to hold Mei Mei!

One of my favorite pictures of them. Right before bedtime on our first night together.